I prefer low recoil ammo for anything except .22LR. In a self-defense situation, figure you're going to be nervous and miss what you aim for on your first shot, and with heavy recoil you'll probably never line up your second shot in time. Control is much more important than power, at least with a handgun. Just make sure your pistol cycles the lower recoil rounds properly. And forget about featherweight .38 revolvers. Even with the lightest rounds I could find, the gun rotated in my hand, even while wearing gloves, and I tested at 90 PSI on a grip gauge.
I laugh when I see actors on TV rapid firing their .40's at a range and making 1" groupings.