Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad joke thread

[MonkeyMD]

I will never get that time back... which is no joke!


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So I should NOT finish reading that?

 

[MEM GTI]

So I should NOT finish reading that?

Depends on if you want to become an old man, full of regret... if you do, then by all means, read it. Otherwise stay away!


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[bayarea7]

You'd have to give me copious amount of drugs to read through all that

 

[-Dutch-]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says Dam!

 

[randomhobo130]

My wife couldn't believe me when I told I wasn't an electrician.
Boy, was she shocked...

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[overmonk]

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

The horse says "My alcoholism is destroying my family."

 

[swcrow]

knock knock
































who's there?


























smell mop


























smell mop who?

 

[Strange Mud]

What do you get when you cross a Pirate and a Pedophile?














































Arrrrrrrrrrrrr Kelly

 

[GTIdre1]

What is a Pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet?

(most people say "R")

Noooo.. Tis the "C" they love!!! (you have to say it with a fist pump)

 

[Beelz]

Two whales walk into a bar.

The first one says ""WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWOWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO"

The second says "What the hell is wrong with you Frank"

 

[Sumfuncomet]

A gay guy goes to his doctor for his annual wellness check up. Doc says he loooks fine and does he have any questions. Gay guy says I would love to have luxurious chest hairs like my partner. Doc says, no problem. Just rub Vaseline in your chest at night before you go to sleep. Gay guy says, “That’s it?”, doc says yep.
Guy goes home, he and his buddy are laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep and he starts rubbing Vaseline all over his chest, his buddy says, “What the hell are you doing?”
He tells his buddy the doc said it would grow hair, his buddy says, “You damn idiot, if Vaseline grew hair you would have a ponytail growing out your asshole”!

 

[shortyb]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?



Russell

 

[shortyb]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at your doorstep?



Matt

 

[shortyb]

What you call a guy with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?



Skip

 

[shortyb]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs at the bottom of a hole?



Phil