Your top 5 reasons why men have it harder than women

[Do Work Son]

Keep it pithy, no big paragraphs here.

1. Having a wiener is both the greatest of blessings and the most dire of curses. There is no pain or discomfort known to either sex worse than having our package resting uncomfortably while in a classroom/work setting/social gathering around women and hence unable to make the necessary adjustments.

2. No woman has ever absentmindedly licked the corner of her mouth after applying aftershave. It might smell manly but aftershave tastes like what I imagine to be a combination of paint thinner and diesel fuel.

3. The very notion of the "friend zone" is entirely alien to us. If we're close enough to help you move or hear about your last breakup then we're close enough for at least a handy afterwards.

4. True fact: whenever a man is brought unwillingly to a shoe store he actively fantasizes about suicide or murder/suicide. Keep it up.

5. The prostate exam will go down in history as the single most disturbing and humiliating act ever conceived.

 

[stynker]

1) Happy wife, happy life. No such thing as happy husband, nothing rhymes with husband.

2) A punch in the uterus doesn't strike as much fear as a tap on the balls.

3) Being humorous and having other females laugh as a result is considered flirting. Males offering unconditional help for menial tasks is not suspicious.

4) Having to wait through a 10 minute explanation of a task that takes 10 seconds. Once again, don't cut off that 10 minutes, it's bad news.

5) Expectations are unrealistic. Not meeting those expectations mean the end of the world.

I guess there's a motif of double standards going on here.

 

[Austin_W]

This thread is going to be pure, unadulterated internet gold.

I maintain that ass hair is still an obstacle unfathomable to a women. I have to wipe at least twice as many times as they do.

They will never know what it's like to be itching your sack and accidentally pinch a nut. They will never know the pain of testicular trauma in the first place.

I agree with the friendzone assessment as well.

 

[Skipdr]

They don't have to endure the pain of getting kicked in the balls. Nothing like it

 

[Austin_W]

1. Men never have a chance to get out of tickets.

 

[Austin_W]

1. Men don't dictate whether or not sex is or is not to be had.

2. They can eat phallic foods without wondering if anyone is watching.

 

[WAP]

1. Men don't dictate whether or not sex is or is not to be had.

+ infinity

 

[troyguitar]

Women can become international celebrities merely for being competent in male-dominated fields. (See Danica Patrick for example)

Women have real fashion choices. Long hair or short, heels or flats, pants or skirts or dresses, sleeves or not, collars or not, closed toe shoes or not, colors or not, makeup or not, jewelry or not, etc. All are considered totally normal.

 

[Austin_W]

1. Men can't play with tits when they're bored.

 

[Skipdr]

1. Men can't play with tits when they're bored.

Well

 

[mk6medic]

Nose hair and ear hair. Fuck that shit.

 

[Austin_W]

Well

*excluding men with a BMI greater than 30

 

[Austin_W]

Women can become international celebrities merely for being competent in male-dominated fields. (See Danica Patrick for example)

Women have real fashion choices. Long hair or short, heels or flats, pants or skirts or dresses, sleeves or not, collars or not, closed toe shoes or not, colors or not, makeup or not, jewelry or not, etc. All are considered totally normal.

Sounds like someone may need to go drag every now and then, to express himself in the fashion choices he envies.

 

[Gunkata]

1) Happy wife, happy life. No such thing as happy husband, nothing rhymes with husband.

2) A punch in the uterus doesn't strike as much fear as a tap on the balls.

3) Being humorous and having other females laugh as a result is considered flirting. Males offering unconditional help for menial tasks is not suspicious.

4) Having to wait through a 10 minute explanation of a task that takes 10 seconds. Once again, don't cut off that 10 minutes, it's bad news.

5) Expectations are unrealistic. Not meeting those expectations mean the end of the world. I guess there's a motif of double standards going on here.

I LOL'd.... :clap:

This thread is going to be pure, unadulterated internet gold.

I maintain that ass hair is still an obstacle unfathomable to a women. I have to wipe at least twice as many times as they do.

:word:

 

[Gunkata]

Sounds like someone may need to go drag every now and then, to express himself in the fashion choices he envies.

honestly, I see his point.. and also, from a corporate dresscode standpoint... women get away with fucking murder, compared to what most men can actually wear.