Do Work Son
Go Kart Champion
Keep it pithy, no big paragraphs here.
1. Having a wiener is both the greatest of blessings and the most dire of curses. There is no pain or discomfort known to either sex worse than having our package resting uncomfortably while in a classroom/work setting/social gathering around women and hence unable to make the necessary adjustments.
2. No woman has ever absentmindedly licked the corner of her mouth after applying aftershave. It might smell manly but aftershave tastes like what I imagine to be a combination of paint thinner and diesel fuel.
3. The very notion of the "friend zone" is entirely alien to us. If we're close enough to help you move or hear about your last breakup then we're close enough for at least a handy afterwards.
4. True fact: whenever a man is brought unwillingly to a shoe store he actively fantasizes about suicide or murder/suicide. Keep it up.
5. The prostate exam will go down in history as the single most disturbing and humiliating act ever conceived.
1. Having a wiener is both the greatest of blessings and the most dire of curses. There is no pain or discomfort known to either sex worse than having our package resting uncomfortably while in a classroom/work setting/social gathering around women and hence unable to make the necessary adjustments.
2. No woman has ever absentmindedly licked the corner of her mouth after applying aftershave. It might smell manly but aftershave tastes like what I imagine to be a combination of paint thinner and diesel fuel.
3. The very notion of the "friend zone" is entirely alien to us. If we're close enough to help you move or hear about your last breakup then we're close enough for at least a handy afterwards.
4. True fact: whenever a man is brought unwillingly to a shoe store he actively fantasizes about suicide or murder/suicide. Keep it up.
5. The prostate exam will go down in history as the single most disturbing and humiliating act ever conceived.