Well after posting my previous question i found post that seems to better explain things. Figured id post it for possibly helping others.
Missing some steps to enable this.
Check
this for more details
In short.. these channels have to be selected.
Comfort illumination-Coming Home Verbaustatus --> automatic
Comfort illumination-Coming Home Leuchten --> low beam(or fogs)
Comfort illumination-Coming-home Einschaltereignis --> driver door
Comfort illumination-Coming Home Verbaustatus is set to automatic instead of manual, there is no need to flash the high beam stalk (i.e., coming home function is automatically enabled every time that the driver door is opened) But be aware that in this mode the coming home lights will turn-on for these cars regardless of light level - because there isn't a light sensor installed on these vehicles)
I haven't tried this so i could be wrong but seems a bit more detailed.
Also a few more settings
Adaptation channel Stored Setting
(1)-Comfort illumination-Coming Home Verbaustatus
manual/automatic
(2)-Comfort illumination-Menuesteuerung Coming Home Werkseinstellung:
active
(3)-Comfort illumination-Menueeinstellung Cominghome
10 s
(4)-Comfort illumination-Coming Home Leuchten
Low beam
(5)-Comfort illumination-Coming-home Einschaltereignis
Driver door
And... a bit more info related to this little tweak
"S models without the rain/light sensor will not(coming home feature). With VCDS coding, manual coming home can be enabled"
Manual coming home means:
"You flash the high beams(unless set to automatic which then relies on door opening) before you leave the car and the car performs the coming home routine. Leaving home will not work without the sensor."