I don't know. Been separated since mid June. She went to San Diego, took her important things and animals with her, left me with the house and most of her stuff. She has a lot of anger and resentment...sometimes she is OK and we can hold an conversation and she says things like she doesn't want our marriage to end and is hoping there is a chance...yet the only thing stopping us from reconciling is her unwillingness. She said she would like to start over with me and yet has not made any effort to meet me even partway. Then when she gets angry she says we should just get a divorce because she isn't coming back and won't ever let anyone make her feel that way again...
I try to understand her feelings and where she is coming from, but she has some major issues she needs to overcome. I have told her I can't fix things on my own, and she says she's given up and has no hope. Even though we had 4 good years together.
I'm making the decision to move forward with my life. Going to eventually sell the house and file for divorce. I think I know what she needs to do, because she is miserable where she is at, and I think she knows what she needs too, but is unwilling to do it. It really sucks because I have been married before and divorced, and that was relatively clean and painless. Not a whole lot invested. That's not the case here.
Anyway not trying to hijack thread, maybe I'll start a new one so that all of you can tell me that I'm an idiot for getting involved in the first place, that I should just cut ties and move on so I'll be happier.